If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Randomize
