Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
