can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
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