I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Randomize