Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
