dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Randomize
