I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
