Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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