And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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