we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
