she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize