I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
