apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize