Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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