I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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