Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
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