I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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