dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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