Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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