I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
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