the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just high enough for therapy.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I have so many feelings about this burrito
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