So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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