I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize