Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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