my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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