In the future we'll all be gay
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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