I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
