508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
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