I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
