i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I don't think brook has ever known best
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Randomize
