How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Houston, we have a blender
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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