I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
Randomize
