Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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