It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
That accounts for only three of the penises
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
