I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Randomize
