apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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