She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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