Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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