I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
