Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
