I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
BRING THE BAGELS
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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