Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
