My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
