all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
