this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
Randomize
