your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
