being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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