He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
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