Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
My hair reeks of homosexuality.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
