Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Randomize
