her vagine was all disorganized.
This girl is more easily done than said...
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
