Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
