A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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