If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
