they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
that may or may not have been my penis.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
