sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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