I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
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