life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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