I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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