Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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