I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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