is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Randomize
