Moan for me like Helen Keller
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
