She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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